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The Disappointing Truth Ring Bearers Have to Live With

I remember when my brother was a tiny page boy—er, ring bearer—and my family sat in rapt attention as he performed his noble duty of walking steadily down the long aisle, pretending to balance a thousand dollars worth of gold that symbolized eternal love on a slippery pillow. It's no wonder he soon upchucked all over his rented child's tux—the nerves must have gotten to him!

The closest ancestor of the rather recent American invention of the ring bearer is the page boy, who was required to carry the queen’s train when she walked down the aisle since (obviously) it was “too heavy for the bride to walk with on her own,” according to wedding historian Susan Waggoner. Thank goodness my brother only had to carry the imaginary rings; if he had to haul 20 feet of the finest imported satin and then hurled all over it, the laundering bill would have consumed his college savings!

I asked my brother to recall the events of that fateful day. He begins by nonchalantly saying he doesn’t remember much because it was 19 years ago and and he was only six, then dives into the specifics. “I thought it was exciting to dress up and war the tux and felt bad I ruined it,” he says. “I was supposed to dance with someone—I can’t remember if it was the flower girl, bride, mom, or someone in the bridal party—and I was excited about it. But I didn’t get to do it because I was in the basement during the whole reception, just in my white undershirt laying on the couch.” No Macarena, no chicken dance, nothing. Then he even dares to get a bit petty (but who among us wouldn’t in his circumstance?): “Also pretty sure I was called the ‘ring bear,’ not ‘bearer,’ and thought it was kind of strange.” Precocious children run in my family.

Now the unfortunate details leading up to the actual upchuck episode could have happened to any single one of us. After all that pressure to deliver as a mere first grader who could barely count to ten, he needed something to take the edge off. He sat down for the reception, and what was before him but two truffles packaged so delightfully with the phrase, “love is sweet.” Love is sweet, he thought, stuffing both chocolates into his mouth at once. And in mere minutes love spewed out all over the place settings and table cloth, which my dad quickly taco’d and disposed of.

I decided to run this story by my dad to see if it’s an accurate account. My dad’s response was: “I just remember it happening and being like like holy s**t!!! Didn't see that coming!!!!” I personally recall my dad trying to conceal the state of the tux upon returning it to the rental company and asked him if that was true. “I don’t recall,” he parrots the futile refrain of all powerful white men.

Waggoner writes that ring bearers’ “function has become largely decorative” and they “are not essential elements of weddings.” Say that to the sad little boy laying in the basement, Ms. Waggoner! What I want to say to my brother is: you are not alone. Just listen to these other accounts!

Myca says she asked her two nephews to be ring bearers, carrying vintage books with ribbon, and she was later informed that her oldest nephew was disappointed when he learned he had carried a fake ring down the aisle: “A few months later I let him hold my wedding ring, and he was so happy! I had no idea he felt like that. I guess he really wanted that responsibility.” Hope experienced something similar with her nephew, who was ”upset and embarrassed because he didn’t carry an actual ring down the aisle in my sister’s wedding.” So when Hope asked him to be her ring bearer, she assured him he would certainly carry her rings. “He made it all the way to the best man, dropped the box on the ground when he was handing it over, and left it!” Talk about a mastermind of revenge; I need to meet this kid!

Laura’s nephew carried a Poké Ball ring holder down the aisle: “After the ceremony, he freaked out when he opened it and it was empty. We had to reassure him that the rings were safe and he had done his job well.” Jenn’s ring bearers “forgot to sit down and stayed standing with all the groomsmen being very alert in their ‘roles!’”

All these kids are taking their jobs super seriously, and they are totally being punk’d. It’s like they think they are competing in the Olympics, but all the viewers know it’s just little league. The transaction is clear for flower girls, who pretty well know that they’re there to look cute, (what else are women good for?). And that is something they totally can’t mess up, cuz baby, they were born with it. Meanwhile, the boys are under the impression that they are basically being entrusted to manage our investment portfolios, but our accounts are filled with Monopoly money. Imagine thinking you’re the wolf on Wall Street and finding out you’re just trading paper money for plastic houses; you might just toss your cookies, too.Read more at:Yellow Bridesmaid Dresses | Pink Bridesmaid Dresses

05:07 Publié dans wedding | Lien permanent | Commentaires (0)


The perfect Christmas gift: a wedding dress for a poor bride

Credit: Unsplash
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A Catholic wedding planner has encouraged married women in Ecuador to “put a smile on the face of a poor bride” by donating their wedding dresses this Christmas.

“The goal is to have women give up their wedding dresses, since they don't have a real use for them anymore. What's better than keeping them is to give them to someone who needs one,” Maria Alejandra Guerra told ACI Prensa.

Guerra explained that the idea came to her Nov. 26, when she went with a group of missionaries from the Bonds of Marian Love Movement to St. Arnoldo Janssen Parish, located in a poor section of Guayaquil, to coordinate a Christmas campaign for the children there.

She said that the pastor, Fr. John Codjoe, told them that one of the parish's ministries was marriage preparation, and that because “most of these women don't have wedding gowns,” that he was looking for dresses to be donated.

“So that little light went on, because that was something I wanted to do for some time, and so I said to him 'Father, I'm a wedding planner, I'm going to help you and I'm going to promote this for your parish,” Guerra related.

Fr. Codjoe “was thrilled” with the proposal and told her about 19 couples who would soon be getting married in the parish.

“That's why I decided to launch this campaign on my social media. I didn't think I was going to get a good reception because some time ago I did a poll and most women told me they preferred to sell their wedding dresses. But it turned out just the opposite and now seven women have offered to give me their dresses,” she said.

“I'm going to go pick up the dresses and I'll bring them over to St. Arnoldo Janssen parish. I even told Fr. Codjoe that I wanted to attend the couples' weddings,” she commented.

On her Instagram account where she launched the campaign, Maria Alejandra Guerra said that Christmas is a “joy, it's giving something to someone you don't know but who needs it more...'giving without remembering and receiving without forgetting,' because that bride you give the dress to will be immensely grateful.”

She hopes that “we can put smiles on the faces of the brides most in need.”

Guerra said that “if I succeed in coming up with the dresses that Fr. Codjoe needs for next year and I continue to get more dresses, then I'll be looking for other parishes that will want to receive them as donations.”

She also invited married women from other Latin American countries to look for churches where they could give their wedding dresses to low-income couples who are preparing for marriage.

For women who live in Mexico, Guerra suggested they give their gowns to the charitable initiative called “Brides with a Cause” which collects dresses throughout the country to give them to needy young women.Read more at:sexy wedding dresses

07:04 Publié dans wedding | Lien permanent | Commentaires (0)


Generational conflict as traditions questioned

ALI'S WEDDING: Helena Sawires stars in Ali's wedding. (Photo James Brickwood, SMH). The Goulburn Film Group screening is on Sunday, November 26 at the Lilac City Cinema at CHECK TIME.
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The Goulburn Film Group's November movie is 'Ali's Wedding' the winner of the Audience Award at the 2017 Sydney Film Festival.

This delightfully funny, charming Australian comedy is based on the true story of Osamah Sami and his cleric father Mahdi. Ali (played by Osamah Sami) wants to please his father (Don Hany). However, despite his lofty intentions, Ali seems incapable of making the right decisions.

When Ali fails to gain the mark required to enter medical school - and desperate to impress his dad - Ali fakes success by lying about his score. He starts attending University without being enrolled in Medicine on the hope that he will perform so well he will be allowed to continue.

On top of this deceit Ali wants to marry the woman of his dreams, an intelligent and sardonic Australian-born Muslim named Dianne (superbly played by Helena Sawires). She is studying medicine.

Smitten, Ali is more than prepared to fabricate a reason the study alongside her.

The complication is Ali is betrothed to another; the 'acceptable' Yomma (Maha Wilson).

Ultimately, this complex web of lies and deceit starts to unravel setting off a catastrophic chain of events. Ali soon finds himself caught between his sense of duty to his family and following his heart.

The film is centred around the lives and families of a Melbourne mosque and poignantly focuses on the balancing act that immigrant families must carefully undertake as they attempt to 'fit in' but retain their culture.

At the same time the film deftly explores the discomfort Ali and his friends have with their parents' traditions. Questioning - and sometimes rejecting - the 'old way' while being respectful of them.

In this sense Ali's Wedding speaks to all cultures: as the younger generation undertakes its rite of passage and in doing so questions the accepted traditions.

As well, telling lies to family members so as not to hurt their feelings is universal and we can all readily share in Ali's pain, especially as Ali's lie begins to expand.

Ali's Wedding will have you with a grin on your face for most of the time but there are also tender moments.

The script is incisive and outstandingly nuanced delivering a cleverly constructed comedy that tugs at the heartstrings as it touches the funny bone.

It has the correct balance between comedic energy and realistic pathos. For example, at one stage Ali exhorts Dianne to run away with him to America. 'Hollywood always needs people like us to play terrorists!' he eagerly argues.

At the core of what makes Ali's Wedding a standout is the relationship between the characters and the realism this engenders as they wrestle with the vagaries of the human condition.

Ali's Wedding - the first Muslim romantic-comedy - is irreverent and warm-hearted.

It is an affectionate and entertaining story of love and duty, which will touch the heart of all those who see it.

I guarantee Sami and Dianne will win you over and Ali's Wedding will become another iconic Australian classic in the mould of The Castle, Dundee and Priscilla.Read more at:wedding gowns melbourne

08:51 Publié dans wedding | Lien permanent | Commentaires (0)