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Here comes the bride: Social media etiquette at weddings

Welcome to today’s nuptials, where modern social media trends intertwine with traditions as old as the vintage lace on Grandmother’s wedding gown. From tweeting at the wedding breakfast to Facebooking the wedding reception, the etiquette of tying the knot seems to be a-changing.

The guests at Andalyn Daich Hissong’s wedding in February, for example, were encouraged to upload the photos they snapped at the event to an app called WedPics.

Once the big day was over, Andalyn and her husband John, were able to re-live the occasion through the eyes of their friends and family’s posting of pictures.

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“The photographers don’t always catch everything and everyone, so I thought it would be a good idea to use this app so I could catch more than what the photographer could catch,” says Hissong, a former Layton resident who now lives in Duarte, California, but held her wedding in Sandy.

Twist on tradition

Social media is to be expected at weddings nowadays, as it is everywhere else, because it’s such a big part of people’s lives, says Jocelyn Boden, assistant manager of David’s Bridal in Layton.

Some folks have always brought their own cameras to weddings but years ago, the practice wasn’t as prevalent, adds Sharida Packard of Simply Stunning Weddings in Syracuse, and there was no Facebook.

Now, the wedding planner says, “Everybody has a phone with a camera and everybody’s pulling them out.”

The craze of mixing social media and matrimony is so big that The Cottage Reception Center in Brigham City will start taking and posting its own photos on Facebook during events — with participants’ consent — in July, says owner Kevin Guymon.

“It’s kind of a win-win situation,” Guymon says, by letting couples see what’s happening right away and by giving the reception center a little publicity.

Special hashtags or apps for wedding photos on social media are just a new twist on a once-popular tradition, adds one West Point wedding decorator.

“Remember when they used to put (disposable) cameras on the table? This basically is the same thing without the expense of having to buy the cameras,” says Starla Rees of A Dream Wedding by Starla.

Good times roll

Some brides embrace inviting social media to the nuptials, like Whitney Nalder of Layton, who said guests were free to take any photos they wanted at her wedding last Saturday. Her only rule was that cell phones be silenced during the ceremony.

“It’s totally welcomed at my party,” Nalder explained a few days before her wedding to Riley Fosmark of Layton at Snowbasin. She added, “What my friends see and how they feel and what they were doing the whole night, I think that’s kind of cool to see afterward.”

Angie Fiorello says she enjoyed seeing pictures on Facebook following her August 2012 wedding to Michael Fiorello and thought all the snapshots were in good taste.

“I don’t know if I know of anybody who posted anything that I went, ‘Oh, why did you go with that?’” the Syracuse resident says.

One benefit of social media, she says, is, “People who weren’t able to come to the wedding got to see pictures that weren’t just, ‘Everyone stand and pose.’ They saw people in action, having a good time.”

Pulling the plug

Some couples, however, opt for “unplugged” or “electronic-free” weddings, an emerging trend in the world of wedded bliss. While letting folks click away with their cellphones during a reception may be fine, Packard says the wedding itself may be a different story.

“Ceremonies are generally very sacred, they’re very personal, they’re more intimate,” the Syracuse wedding planner says. Yet that mood can be changed if “you’ve got 50 percent of your audience sitting in the ceremony with their phones out, snapping pictures.”

Ushers at the wedding could inform guests of the no-photos policy, Boden, at David’s Bridal says, or the information might be included in the invitations, says wedding photographer Terra Cooper of Layton.

Another approach is to put out a basket where folks deposit their cellphones before going in to the wedding, although Guymon quipped that such a practice seems “not very American.”

Cooper says she’s also seen signs posted at the event asking guests to put away their phones, enjoy the wedding and “be present.”

“People aren’t present when they’re hooked to their phones, as well all know,” says Cooper, who estimated about 10 percent of the weddings she photographs are unplugged.

During the event, folks should be cautious when posting pictures or tweeting, especially if they are spilling the beans about any surprises or special moments, Packard says.

“You don’t want to take away from the bride and groom,” she says.

Dilemmas of posting

Utah is somewhat unique when it comes to social media at weddings due to its large number of unions performed in temples of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, where cameras are not allowed.

“You don’t run into a lot of the ceremony issues because a lot of people respect the sacredness of the temple grounds,” Packard says.

Social media decisions aren’t limited to the wedding day itself. Couples who have bridal portraits taken before the actual wedding, for instance, must decide whether or not to put those online.

“I ask them if they want me to post before the wedding,” Cooper says. “Eighty percent of them do, but I have a few who wait until after the wedding.”

Once upon a time, brides visited wedding shops with photos of dresses they wanted to try on ripped out of magazines. Now, Boden says the norm is a Pinterest account on the bride’s cell phone, filled with images of everything from wedding gowns to veils to shoes.

“We just dress her head to toe with what she found on Pinterest,” Boden quips, adding, “I think it makes it easier all around.”

Even so, some brides have found there may be a danger in sharing too much about what they’re planning for their wedding, says Janis Peterson, owner of The Bridal Corner in North Ogden.

“They want to have a unique idea or a unique reception and when you’re Facebooking it, people steal their ideas,” she says.

Still a secret

As popular as social media may be, one aspect of the wedding remains pretty much off-limits — the dress.

Once a woman selects her gown, it’s often her mother who takes photos of it with her cellphone to use in the wedding planning, Peterson says, but those pictures won’t be posted on any social media.

“The bride doesn’t even want the photo to be on her phone because she doesn’t want the groom to see what her dress looks like,” she explains.

Although Fiorello says she loved having Facebook photos from her wedding, there is “a line of respect” that guests should not cross and that includes not revealing the dress.

“That would have absolutely upset me,” she says, “had my husband been on Facebook and seen a picture of me in my dress before the wedding.”


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04:21 Publié dans wedding | Tags : bride, wedding | Lien permanent | Commentaires (0)


Brides are saying ‘I don’t’ to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram at their weddings

Brides and grooms are saying, “I don’t” — to guests tweeting, texting and Instagramming at their weddings.

Celebs such as Michael Jordan and Kim Kardashian enforce an Internet blackout so they can control pictures of their weddings — and likely sell them to the highest bidder. And quasi-name Nick Denton, founder of the gossip site Gawker, required guests to check their phones at his wedding at the American Museum of Natural History in May.

But the unplugged wedding trend is trickling down to every day ceremonies.

Wendy Lee Govoni-Capurso, 32, from the Financial District, kept her May nups offline to keep the peace between her divorced parents. She held three weddings, inviting her father and stepmother to one and her mother and stepfather to another, with the third at City Hall to make the union official.

Felice Barash Gebhardt, 29, said she loved that all of her guests’ eyes were on her during her in California ceremony.

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“I didn’t want anything posted until we were done with all three because I didn’t want anyone to feel left out,” says Govoni-Capurso, who admits she’s a Facebook junkie.

Enforcing the ban was easier said than done. Her wedding photographer broke the rule by uploading a shot to Instagram. Some guests followed, too. But for the most part, the ban held.

“They respected what I was trying to do,” Govoni-Capurso says.

Still, it’s an age of hyperconnectivity, so many social media-friendly couples are encouraging webcasting of their weddings, even creating hashtags for their guests to share their pictures on Facebook and Twitter.

But unplugged couples don’t “like” that one bit.

“(Many clients) want nothing to do with any kind of social media, anything that has to do with Facebooking, hashtagging,” says Manhattan wedding planner Ellen Kostman, founder of Sidekick Events. “They are celebrating with the chosen

people that they’ve invited, and they’re not opening this up to the world.”

Before cell phones, all weddings were “unplugged” — but now 37% of brides surveyed by wedding website The Knot said they will consider formalizing the no-tech wedlock.

“They see it at celebrity weddings and people think, ‘I should feel like a celebrity on my wedding day,’” says Jamie Miles, editor of “So they feel comfortable asking for things celebrities ask for, because it’s their special day, too.”

The key to getting guests to turn off their phones without blowing their tops is to keep them informed about your social-media policy early and often. Put a bulletin on your wedding website, add a line to the invitation and consider having your officiant make an announcement at the beginning of the service.

Kimberly Burgess, 22, who wed in May, painted a chalkboard sign welcoming guests to her unplugged wedding, asking them to please put all electronic devices away. She also added a reminder in her program so she wouldn’t have to compete with Twitter for their attention.

“We wanted our guests to be present with us in this special moment in our lives, and to just put their phones and cameras down and enjoy it,” she said.

Her request raised some eyebrows at first, but Burgess says the offline ceremony was a big success.

“A lot of guests said they thought it was really nice, and they actually enjoyed the ceremony without worrying about taking pictures,” she says. “It sets a different vibe when people are actually talking to each other, instead of on their phones.”

Unplugged weddings also make better pictures. Nothing is more heartbreaking than some amateur ruining a professional photographer’s shot by blocking the first kiss or first dance.

“Sometimes, I’m trying to get a wide shot of the bride walking down the aisle, and guests get in the way trying to take their own pictures,” says photographer Jasmine Lee, who’s shot three unplugged weddings already this year, and has two more coming up. “Or I’m trying to capture the parents’ reaction, but one’s got a cell phone in front of their face.”

Yet when she shot the Burgess wedding, she was able to get lovely candids of the guests — and unobstructed shots of the newlyweds.

“Everyone was sitting in their seats, attentive and listening, and I was able to catch an array of emotions,” she says. “My pictures are probably going to be better quality than what the guests would have gotten on their phones.”

No bride wants to see half her family crouched over their phones and texting during one of the most important moments in her life.

“I absolutely loved that everybody’s eyes were looking forward; there were no iPads or cameras or technology in front of their faces, and no one was looking down or distracted,” says newlywed Felice Barash Gebhardt, 29, who had a May picture-perfect wedding.

Unplugged weddings remain the minority, yet even those embracing social media are controlling how guests use it. A recent study by David’s Bridal found that 44% of brides are sticklers for digital rules, with 58% believing the bride and groom should post the first picture from their wedding.

Astoria bride-to-be Sharon Paculor, 35, for example, won’t allow guests to share her wedding’s location on Foursquare or Facebook.

“It’s a secret location ... on an island in Hawaii, at a private residence ... so no social media check-ins are allowed,” she says.

Guests should say, “I do,” to the bride’s rules on the big day. And for those who have a problem unplugging for an afternoon, Gebhardt offers this piece of advice: “If you love your phone that much that you can’t put it down for an hour, why don't you marry it?”

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04:54 Publié dans wedding | Tags : weddings | Lien permanent | Commentaires (0)


Hire a boat for your wedding

Having travelled on most of the boats on Lake Windermere from being a young girl, as an adult I was completely unaware that you could hire them out for personal use. I am assuming that other people are in the dark about this also, which is why I am writing this article.

When it came to booking our wedding at Langdale Chase, it seemed extravagant at first to arrange a boat ride from their private jetty for our wedding guests. However, the more we looked into it- it seemed like the natural choice.

My husband proposed to me in a rowing boat and we were getting married beside the biggest lake in the district, so it felt like the decision had already been made for us.

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It turned out to be one of the best things we did over our wedding weekend. We decided that with a full wedding day, we would invite guests staying the night before on the lake with us as a precursor to our evening meal. A ride on a boat after all is the perfect way to work up an appetite, and that it did!

Everyone commented afterwards on how it helped to break the ice between our guests from both sides of the family and brought them together as one.

Windermere Lake Cruises allows you to take food and drink on the boat as long as you tidy up afterwards. Between 25 of us, we managed to drink 18 bottles of bubbly and an assortment of food including nuts, cakes, strawberries and crisps, which certainly helped to cement some new friendships!

The two hour trip also allowed us, as the bride and groom to be, to get around everyone to thank them for coming and have a well needed catch up.

The boats are rented out by the hour; however for an additional £100, for every extra hour you have, you can extend it for as long as you like. Two hours seemed like a lifetime when we were booking it, however, the time passed quickly and upon reflection I think an hour would have not warranted enough time to speak to all of our guests.

I would suggest if you are thinking of doing this for your wedding that you book early as the boats are needed for tourists if you are getting married at peak times.

When we arranged the boat we met with Sandra Tonge who was extremely friendly and helpful when were going through the booking process. Of all of our wedding arrangements this was the least stressful and had no complications along the way.

We hired out Princess of the Lake, which is one of their traditional wooden launches, as we felt it was in-keeping with the hotel decor and period. This seats 50 people, with 25 under cover and 25 exposed to the elements. We were worried about the weather and it did rain a little, however everyone came prepared in their waterproofs, as it can not only get wet but chilly on the lake. But anyone who has visited the Lakes before knows that you need a back-up plan! There are other boating options if your wedding party is larger, that have a bigger capacity an on board bar and toilets.

The boats can be decorated by your stylist with ribbons if you want to tie it in with your colour scheme for the big day too, so you can customise them to match your wedding décor.

Overall, I would not hesitate to arrange a boat again for a big occasion, as it was the best way to introduce everyone while enjoying the beautiful scenery around Lake Windermere. It is obviously a great photo opportunity too, with the backdrop of the mountains in all of your pictures!

My Mum made us an album of all the best pictures from the boat, so we now have a keepsake from the eve of our wedding. I would urge you to do the same; even though our wedding is just over a month ago now, I am already forgetting minor details of the weekend- so if you hire a boat for your big day make sure you capture plenty of moments on camera!

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08:25 Publié dans wedding | Tags : wedding | Lien permanent | Commentaires (0)