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08/01/2015

Wedding planners see plusses in same-sex marriage

Several local companies associated with the booming beach wedding industry have shown their support for Florida becoming the 36th state in the nation to legalize same sex marriages.

While many local beach wedding vendors have been performing commitment ceremonies for same-sex couples for years, several expressed excitement about being able to finally offer true wedding ceremonies.

“I have long since been an advocate of marriage equality and I’m just happy to see it’s happening as fast as it’s happening,” said Grove Fisher, who owns Fisher’s Flowers with her husband Adam.

Maggie Halsey’s Barefoot Weddings has also performed commitment ceremonies since she opened 16 years ago.

Gay marriage
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“I think more and more people are more open minded,” Halsey said. “Just about everybody has somebody in their family who is gay or have friends.

As the largest accommodation provider in Northwest Florida, ResortQuest by Wyndham Vacation Rentals hosts a lot of weddings throughout the year. Company spokesperson Martin Owen said ResortQuest is looking forward to hosting same sex marriages.

“Naturally, we are all inclusive and we don’t discriminate against anybody,” Owen said. “We just like everybody having weddings on the beach.”

Fisher said her feelings about marriage equality were very personal but intersect her professional life.

“I think it opens the doors to a whole bunch more opportunity as far as growing here,” Fisher said of the wedding industry.

The industry could also see a bump with the clerks of court in Okaloosa, Walton, and Santa Rosa counties getting out of the wedding business.

“It infuriates me,” Fisher said. “It’s so backwards and so wrong that I can’t even stand it.”

For her part, Halsey has been renovating the chapel at 11 Eglin Parkway SE in Fort Walton Beach to offer ceremonies at her office. She hopes to have her chapel ready for ceremonies by Friday.

“I was surprised (the clerks stopped performing wedding ceremonies),” Halsey said. “I wasn’t expecting it. That’s why I’m scrambling now to get the chapel together.”

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07:32 Publié dans wedding | Tags : wedding | Lien permanent | Commentaires (0)

05/01/2015

Ask Amy: A wedding shove forces a dilemma

Dear Amy: About a year ago, my sister got married in a wonderful elaborate ceremony.

Around this same time, it was known within my family that I was struggling through a deep depression. Because it was my sister’s day, I gamely attempted to play “happy” and be supportive of her.

However, at this wedding weekend, my sister (the bride), my mother and my sister’s bridesmaids took it upon themselves to viciously and maliciously attack my (then) girlfriend.

The abuse was both verbal and sadly also physical, as a bridesmaid, apparently, shoved my girlfriend off the dance floor. With so many people at the wedding I had not seen in years, it was impossible for me to “guard” her at what was supposed to be a party.

This vicious behavior exhibited by my family, coupled with my lack of responsiveness at the time led to our breakup immediately after the wedding.

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I have tried to move on from this event and continue in therapy, but I am struggling to rebuild any real relationship with my sister or mother and have no real desire to see them. They have never apologized and know how hurt I was by their actions. Am I supposed to just “forgive” and pretend it never happened the way they seem to have? — Suffering in San Jose

Dear Suffering: Your guest was bullied by family members. Clearly, this is unacceptable on every level.

Bullies never want to acknowledge their own actions. They want to move through life without reflection or apology.

I assume you are discussing this in therapy. This episode requires that you do whatever you need to do to restore your own sense of trust and serenity.

Your family will not offer an apology, but you should ask for one. You should write down your thoughts, including an “ask.” Make it as calm and neutral as possible and include the phrase, “For the sake of our relationship, I would like you to acknowledge your actions on that day.”

Be prepared that your family may find ways to transfer the responsibility to you.

Your next task should be to reflect on how you can best move forward. It might be best for you to continue to avoid your family members until you can fully accept the reality of their flawed behavior and release your own anger. This is for your sake, not theirs.

Dear Amy: I am a 56-year-old woman. For most of my life I have been a liar. I’ve told small lies and really big ones — all mostly for the purpose of not wanting to hurt someone else’s feelings.

I have told a few lies I wish I had never told, and I realize I can only blame myself. Amazingly, no one has ever called me on any of my lies.

I’m now at an age where I’m having a hard time keeping my “stories” straight. Also, I feel like I don’t really care anymore about other people’s feelings, and that I just want to be able to do what I want without having to lie. I want to look at myself in the mirror without seeing a liar staring back at me.

What should I do? — Pants on Fire

Dear Fire: If you truly don’t care about other people’s feelings or their estimation of you, then you might as well come clean. When you do, accompany the truth with a sincere apology — because the many people you have lied to deserve at least that much.

Dear Amy: You talk a good game when it comes to “family values,” but your answer to “Disappointed Bride” was flawed. When family members decide to skip a wedding for an important baseball tournament, these parents are demonstrating to their son that his commitment to his team is paramount. That is a great message. — Disappointed in You

Dear Disappointed: Parents who make this choice shouldn’t be surprised when their children move through life assuming that their interests and activities will always come first.

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07:40 Publié dans wedding | Tags : wedding | Lien permanent | Commentaires (0)

30/12/2014

How To Deal With Wedding Guests Who Try To Add An Uninvited Plus-One

It’s up to you. It’s understandable to prefer to avoid confrontation and possible hurt feelings, and if you feel it’s better to let sleeping dogs lie, that’s okay. For most couples, an unexpected extra guest can be a costly addition, go over capacity limits for the venue or cause problems with other guests who weren’t invited to bring to a date but might have liked to.

WEDDING RSVP
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It might seem rude to say something to a guest who added an uninvited guest to his or her RSVP, but it’s truly okay to speak up. After all, it was really inconsiderate of the guest to RSVP for someone who wasn’t invited. The trick is in how you go about doing it. Phone calls are the way to go -- they are more personal, immediate (rather than waiting for an email reply), and allow for no mistakes in tone of voice.

The guests in question should have known exactly who was invited (and by omission, who wasn’t), based on the name(s) listed on the inner envelope (or outer, if there was only one). But it’s possible they didn’t know this, so give them the benefit of the doubt, but obliquely. You might be right, but an argument about the finer points of etiquette will only make things worse. Instead, say, “Hi, Sarah. We’re so glad you can come to the wedding [open with a positive]. I’m so sorry if there was a misunderstanding [don’t get into whose that might have been, it won’t be productive], but the invitation was only for you [nicer to focus on who is included than who isn’t]. We hope you understand and can still come [again, return focus on what you would like].”

Don’t ask the guest questions like, “Is that okay with you?” because that could open the whole thing up for debate. Your tone should be friendly but firm. The ball is now in your guest’s court to decide whether or not to come.

There is one exception to this: If the guest is married or engaged and their partner wasn’t invited, the mistake was actually yours, as married and engaged couples are a package deal when it comes to a wedding invitation, regardless of whether or not you know or like the other half. In this case, the guest should call to explain the oversight rather than simply adding the partner to the RSVP.

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07:13 Publié dans wedding | Tags : wedding | Lien permanent | Commentaires (0)