Millennials are leaving their mark on the wedding industry—often choosing customization over a cookie-cutter wedding.
Maria Steinhagen, 30, and Simon Sperl, 28, of St. Paul are planning for an October wedding at Voyageur Environmental Center in Mound.
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Maria Steinhagen and Simon Sperl of St. Paul are planning for an October wedding at Voyageur Environmental Center in Mound. (Photo: Sweet Moonlight Photography)
"We wanted our wedding to kind of feel like a big get together really of all of our friends," Steinhagen said.
During the ceremony, guests will surround the couple in a circle versus sitting in rows.
"It's just to kind of signify the support that our friends and family will offer for the rest of our lives as opposed to them being kind of in the audience and watching from a distance. We wanted it to feel personal and like they're a part of it," Sperl said.
Personal touches include wedding invitations by artist Anne Moriarty (Sperl's mother) and cello duets for the ceremony, composed by Sperl.
"We've heard a lot about the rising costs of being in a wedding and we didn't really want that for any of our friends," Steinhagen said.
Instead of matching dresses or suits, the bridal party will wear whatever they want. The bride and groom are also saving money on their attire. Sperl chose to buy a suit he can re-wear and found shoes on eBay at a quarter of the original price. Steinhagen saved $500 on her wedding dress by buying the sample.
Sperl and Steinhagen are also bartending at their friends' wedding. In exchange, those friends will play cello at their wedding—saving them $300-$500.
Instead of flowers for centerpieces, tables will be adorned with fruit and wine.
"We're seeing an overall trend of customization, I would say," said Nikki Houser, director of integrated marketing and success at Twin Cities Wedding Association.
According to Houser, couples in the metro are spending about the same amount on their weddings as they did ten years ago. The Wedding Report shows couples in the Twin Cities metro spent, on average, $31,081 in 2015. That same year, total sales from weddings in the metro area came in at nearly $638 million—putting the market in the top 20 cities nationwide.
"I just think that couples are now being more selective on what they're choosing," Houser said. "So they're not just having a buffet just because they need food, they're picking specific food that means something to him, her or the family."
Jareesa Tucker McClure, 34, of St. Louis Park married her husband, William, in 2015.
"I got married on March 14, 2015 aka Pi Day. I'm a chemist by training and my husband is a mathematician so we thought, 'Why not get married on the nerdiest day of the year?'" she said.
For the reception, decorations included laboratory glassware for centerpieces. McClure said this allowed them to save money by using only a few silk flowers with the centerpieces. They used elements on the periodic table for table numbers and mini pies for wedding favors.
"We did things... that were kind of untraditional. For example, our guest book, instead of buying one I got an offer from Shutterfly for a free photo guest book which I totally took advantage of," McClure said.
The couple also saved money by getting married off-season in March, having a family friend as their officiant, and taking advantage of special offers at bridal shows.
With an original budget of $20,000, they ended up spending about $18,000.
"I see our generation really wanting to do things in places that speak to us and do things in a different way," McClure said.
No matter what choices couples make for their wedding day, Houser recommends they pick their top three non-negotiables when planning a budget.
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Although her childhood ended long ago, Holly O’Brien, an actress, has clung to her belief in the value of all things Disney and in the promise of happily-ever-after.
She stuck with it in her post-teenage years, celebrating her 20th birthday with a Barbies-and-princesses sleepover, her room covered in glitter and her guests attired in pink pajamas. When it came time for gifts, each friend unveiled a Disney Barbie, except for one, who, a couple of years older, presented Ms. O’Brien with a fake ID and suggested they go bar-hopping.
“What?” Ms. O’Brien replied quizzically. “A princess wouldn’t do that.”Then, with dreams of ascending to Broadway and finding romance, too, she moved to New York, where some dreams flourish and others are crushed.
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She found theater work in New York and on the road, performing a signature role as Belle in “Beauty and the Beast” in regional productions. “I used to tear up onstage,” she said, “because I thought I was never going to have my fairy-tale ending.”
Prince Charming, it seemed, had crawled under a rock.“I had a guy take me on a carriage ride in Central Park and then tell me to pay for it,” Ms. O’Brien said.
Dismayed, she and a friend made up a song called “Whatever Happened to Chivalry?”Then along came an unwitting fairy godfather and matchmaker, the actor, director and playright Paul Navarra, who in 2009 cast Ms. O’Brien alongside Mike Roche in a staged reading of “The Iceman Cometh” at the Drama Book Shop in Midtown Manhattan.
His fellow actors competed for Ms. O’Brien’s attention by bombarding her with questions: Was she married? (No.) Was she dating anyone? (Yes, as a matter of fact.)
Mr. Roche, who was also in a relationship, sat back and took it all in. “Everyone was aware that this gorgeous woman had entered the room,” he said. But soon he and Ms. O’Brien were cutting up backstage over missed queues and fumbled lines and whatever else captured their fancy.
“I thought he was the nicest guy I’d ever met,” she said. “I was totally captivated by how infectious his kindness is and his smile and his passion for the business. He makes you feel really excited about what you’re doing.”
But she wasn’t thinking, “I’m going to date him,” she said, though they did promise to stay in touch and connected from time to time on Facebook and attended each other’s shows.
It was after a reading of “To Kill a Mockingbird” two years later, when their previous relationships had fizzled, that Mr. Roche suggested dinner at Vynl on Ninth Avenue.
She was coming from a modeling convention where she had helped her agent spot new talent; he was coming from the Public Theater production of “The Merchant of Venice,” starring Al Pacino, for whom Mr. Roche also works as a driver and an assistant.
“Everything about Mike was so interesting,” she said of Mr. Roche, who also works in Queens as the after-school coordinator for the Leadership Program’s 21st Century Community Learning Centers at Long Island City High School.
He was also a baseball player at Ramapo College in New Jersey before working as a production assistant and an actor for Estelle Parsons and then winning a 2010 Drama Desk Award as a member of the Godlight Theater Company.
Adding intrigue to their encounter over dinner was the cast of characters dropping things off for Mr. Pacino throughout their meal.“He was just so positive and full of light and energy,” Ms. O’Brien, now 36, said of Mr. Roche, 41. “The fact that he listened and was interested in things outside of himself was incredibly rare among the people I had been seeing.”
But Ms. O’Brien, who studied opera at the Interlochen Arts Academy and musical theater at the Hartt School in Hartford, had been plotting to abandon New York and return to her home in Oregon, her confidence at an all-time low.
“I was explaining to him, ‘I’m going to leave, I’m burned out, I can’t handle auditioning anymore and the rejection and the roller-coaster lifestyle it entails,’” she said. “And within about 20 minutes, he turned my whole perception of life around. All of the sudden out of nowhere, I had this guy with a big heart sitting right in front of me, cheering me on.”
They closed down the restaurant, then laughed some more as she regaled him with stories on the street corner. And as they hugged goodbye, Ms. O’Brien wondered what on earth she had been thinking when she decided to move.Temporarily putting her packing on hold, she joined her mother in the Berkshires for a few days and quickly discovered that she longed to return to the city, and to Mr. Roche.
“Holly has been through hell and back with men,” said Susan Hilerio, a friend of Ms. O’Brien’s who has known her since college. “She loves to heal people, she loves to help people, she wants to be the person who saves everyone. She would get her heart shattered and just pick right back up and let it happen again.”During their second date, at Joe Allen in the theater district, Ms. O’Brien declared that she was staying.
“I had never had a boyfriend who supported what I did in this business, who understood about traveling out of town for work and didn’t consider it a pipe dream,” she said. “It hit me that I needed somebody in my corner, and I wanted to see where it went with Mike. I was reinspired.”And when they kissed good night, they each described it as something out of a movie.For their third date, Mr. Roche showed up at the Port Authority with a Zipcar to drive Ms. O’Brien to her apartment in Astoria, Queens, after a long bus ride from an audition at the Foxwoods casino in Connecticut.
“I remember telling him, ‘You know, this is some serious Prince Charming type of behavior here,’” she said. “It was the most chivalrous thing any guy had ever done for me.”After that, they were inseparable. “We had essentially fallen in love,” he said. “We got along so well, in fact, that we didn’t argue and could almost finish each other’s sentences. There was no drama, which was very new for me.”
Not only did Mr. Roche understand Ms. O’Brien’s dreams, but he was also determined to make her life easier as she pursued them. While she was out of town with a show, he moved from Manhattan to her street in Astoria so that they could see each other more often.And when, not long after their August 2014 engagement — he proposed in front of the castle at Disney World in Orlando, Fla. (where else?) — she was offered a performing gig on a European cruise that would keep them apart for nearly seven months, he encouraged her to go.
“If someone offers you that contract as a singer, you have to take it,” Mr. Roche said.He missed her dearly, with their relationship suddenly virtual. “But I’m very aware that if you’re dating an actress, they’re going to go away and do shows, and Holly is aware that I may go away, too” he said. “To be quite frank, you just find a way to make it work. What I really appreciate about her is she gets that. And I feel it’s my job to support her doing her work.”
Not only is Mr. Roche a talented actor, but he is also “a nice, normal guy in a business that’s not normal and not nice,” said Mr. Navarra, their unintentional matchmaker. “Holly is the same kind of person, not only talented and beautiful, but sweet. Together they’re a breath of fresh air.”The change in Ms. O’Brien has been remarkable, Ms. Hilerio said. “I feel like someone is finally taking care of her and has her best interests at heart,” she said. “He grounds her, and she seems at peace.”
On Aug. 28, Ms. O’Brien and Mr. Roche were married beneath the celestial ceiling of the Church of St. John Nepomucene on the Upper East Side, in a ceremony officiated by the Rev. Richard D. Baker, a Roman Catholic priest who had helped Mr. Roche research the role of Father Flynn for a revival of “Doubt.”
After the ceremony, guests uttered the passwords “one true” to Mr. Navarra, playing the role of a Brando-esque doorman at 202 East, a reception space on East 77th Street that had been transformed into a Gatsby-era speakeasy with a swing band.
The bride’s crystal-adorned strapless gown cascaded into a skirt worthy of a princess, a pink ribbon encircling her waist and a tiara on her head. As the couple took the floor for their first dance, two friends sang performed the theme from “Beauty and the Beast,” which begins with the lines “Tale as old as time / True as it can be / Barely even friends / Then somebody bends / Unexpectedly.”
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Five years ago to the day, Peter Derrigo approached Lynn Mapstone at the CNY Trap League's annual championship shoot off tournament at the DeWitt Fish & Game Club.
"I saw her sitting in the grass with her family. I started talking to her. That was pretty much it," Derrigo, 47, of Clay, said.
They sat talking for hours and soon, they were inseparable.
Sunday, the couple -- who shoots for opposing clubs -- was married in a "shotgun wedding" after competing in the CNY Trap League's North-South Shoot Off.
They stood on trap house six and exchanged vows.
"Not only is this a special place for Pete and Lynn, so is this day," said the groom's brother Matt Derrigo, as he officiated the wedding. "Five years ago today, under a small tent just up the hill, Pete took keen notice of Lynn being her typical, playful self... Little did anyone know how that connection would set them off on a journey."
During the ceremony, Matt Derrigo told family and friends a story of how his brother quickly took to Mapstone, 36, and her fun-loving ways.
"Only one week later, after being inseparable, Lynn's mother, Ann, started wondering if they had eloped and knew she was onto something when Pete succumbed to Lynn's practical joking ways and they both showed up wearing wedding rings a week later," Matt Derrigo said. "While that was a joke, I assure you, this one isn't."
After the ceremony, Ann Mapstone said she thought her daughter's idea of having a "shotgun wedding" on the same day, Sept. 11, and at the same place, was appropriate.
"I thought it was perfect," she said. "They're no frills. They're not into the pomp and circumstance. This is so them."
Terry Mapstone said he also liked his daughter's idea to get married after the championship shoot off tournament.
"It's very serious to get married, but to put a little fun in it is good," he said.
Peter Derrigo said he was agreeable to whatever his bride wanted, but he, too, liked the idea of a "shotgun wedding" after the tournament.
"Everybody said, 'Oh, you have time to run,'" Derrigo said. "I said, 'No, I'm not running.'"
Immediately after the ceremony, Mapstone asked her groom how many targets he shot during the tournament. Mapstone, a member of the Pompey Rod & Gun Club, shot 44 and tied for second place in her class. But she had to leave the tournament early to get her hair and makeup done before the wedding.
"I've been trying to find out all day," she said.
Derrigo, a member of the DeWitt Fish & Game Club, shot 33 of the 50 targets. He said he didn't look at the scoreboard; instead, a reporter told him his score.
"I did a whole lot better (five years ago) than I did today," Derrigo said. "But I had other things on my mind today."
As they were pronounced husband and wife, a crowd of rod and gun club members watching from a distance honked horns and shouted in celebration. One mysterious gun club member also had fun decorating the couple's car: The driver's side read, "DeWitt Side - Lucky man." The passenger's side read, "Pompey side - Blushing bride." And the back window read, "Went to a trap shoot and won a wife. Just married!!!"
Mapstone and Derrigo continued celebrating with a reception Sunday night at Tassone's Wine Garden in Baldwinsville. They have not yet planned a honeymoon.
This was the first wedding ever held at the DeWitt Fish & Game Club, club president John Riccio said.
"The big question is: Who will they shoot for next year?" Pompey Rod & Gun Club secretary Deb Bell said.
More than 700 people from 11 clubs in Onondaga and Oswego County participate in the CNY Trap League from April through September each year, Riccio said. An estimated 325 shooters participated in Sunday's tournament.
The 2016 High Gun Champion, Peter Catalano, 50, along with runner-up Len Kallfelz, 58, and 20-year-old Peter J. Catalano all had three perfect scores -- each shooting 50 targets three times -- to qualify for the High Gun Shoot Off.
The younger Catalano was eliminated in the first round after shooting 23 of 25; His father and Kallfelz tied after they both shot 24 of 25 in the first round; Kallfelz shot 24 of 25 in the second round; Catalano won after he shot a perfect 25.
"Peter is the real heavy hitter today," Kallfelz quipped, referring to Alexander and Catalano "The Heavy Hitters."
But Catalano, a well-known lawyer, quickly shot back, "I just got lucky today."
Here is a list of the winners from the shoot off tournament earlier Sunday, as well as the club in which they belong.
CNY Trap League's North-South Shoot Off winners
2016 High Gun Champion - Peter Catalano (DeWitt Fish & Game Club)
High Gun Champion Runner Up - Len Kallfelz (Camillus)
AA Champion - Dave Corrente (Camillus)
A Champion - Peter J. Catalano (DeWitt)
B Champion - Bob Dankiw (Camillus)
C Champion - John Schwitter (Pathfinder)
D Champion - Anthony Froio (Pathfinder)
Lady Champion - Joanna Bishop (South Shore)
Vet Champion - George Hart (Bridgeport)
Senior Vet Champion - John Wallace (Pathfinder)
Junior Champion - Hunter Nerber (Three Rivers)
Sub Junior Champion - Christopher Catalano (DeWitt)